o wait. my bad.

YOU DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAD TO LOG ONTO YOUR FUCKING WEBSITE AND LOG INTO SOME STUPID STUDENT ACCOUNT —THAT I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I HAD— TO FIND A LITTLE YELLOW FLAG STICKING UP SAYING YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOT TO HAND IN ONE OF YOUR DOCUMENTS— WTFUCKING HELLL!/!?

FIRST OF ALL:

I SENT IN MY OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT WITH THE PROPER ROUTING SLIP ON DEC 19TH!

IN FUCKING DECEMBER!!!

YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT A LITTLE EMAIL, OR PHONE CALL, OR EVEN A FUCKING TEXT MESSAGE OR ANY KIND OF HUMAN COMMUNICATION TO LET ME KNOW MONTHS AGO THAT YOU DIDN’T RECIEVE IT, OR WHERE TO CHECK TO MAKE SURE YOU DID RECIEVE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING NICE!!

DID U ACTUALLY THINK I JUST FORGOT TO SEND IT IN BY NOW!?WTF!?

I CHECK O.U.A.C. ON A REGULAR BASIS AND NOTHING OF THIS WAS MENTIONED. I KNOW YOU RECEIVED MY APPLICATION BECAUSE YOU SENT ME A NICE LITTLE INFO PACKET THANKING ME FOR IT.

TO SUM UP:

IF I DON’T GET IN TO YOUR FUCKING SCHOOL, WHO WOULD BE FUCKING HONORED TO HAVE ME,  BECAUSE OF A MISTAKE MADE BY YOU, OR A FUCKING

CLERICAL ERRROR

YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR FROM MY LAWYER.

nope. wait.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE SHIT ON BY MY LAWYER.

SHIT ON UNTIL YOU ARE BURRIED SO DEEP IN PAPER WORK THAT YOU WISH YOU HAD MOVED TO CHINA TO BE A SWEATSHOP WORKER MAKING 2 CENTS AN HOUR, AND LIVING IN A DEATH HOLE FULL OF FUNGAS AND DECAYING BODIES AND FECES!!!

No seriously though, if you do not except me, as late as it is, my lawyer will be contacting you. I will threaten you with damages, and I will make enough noise, and enough fuss, that it will be cheaper for you to just admit me. Which is really all that I want, even through all the pain and suffering you have already caused me.

But either way I win. So you can choose. Admit me, or fucking feel my wrath.

That’s right..my fucking wrath.

It is sooo damn difficult for me to live life day by day, I’m always day dreaming, and wishing and hoping that my life is something its not. I have such grandeous dreams that I almost laugh at myself sometimes, becasuse I actually believe that Iwill get there. I really believe it. Somewhere in my head believes that I was meant to be rich and famous, and adored, and have a killer career, and all around just be an artist, a famous respected artist. Thats what I want, in my perfect world this is what I want. I want to direct films. And star in films. I want to dabble in music, and perhaps acompany a band on tour. I want to party and sleep with the rich and famous. I want to be notorious for partying hard and doing drugs and fucking up, and looking gorgeously heroin/boho chic whilst doing it. I want to be an artists muse. I want to design clothes, and drive fancy stylish old cars.I want to have a villa in the south of France and apartments in London, Paris and NewYork. I want to be on the cover of Rollingstone, with the caption “The coolest motherfucker since Bob Dylan.” I want to paint, and take photographs, and cook meals at 4 in the morning with a lover who is as self centered as I am. I want to model but I want for them to come to me begging me to. I want to win an Oscar for best director. I have good taste. But I want the money to back up the taste. Plus you know I want the perfect house, a journal to keep track of all that, books and movies about me in my later life, and every other impossible fancy that pops into my mind. Thats what I want. All of it. Everything. Now.

I wish so desperately that I was born poor or less well off or more rich. The poor are lucky, they just want to be not poor. The rich are lucky because they can do anything. The less well off take attainable and achievable goals, that make them upper middle class, and then make spawn like me.

Too well praised in their youth, given unatainable dreams, and told they can do whatever they want in their lives, only to be forced into the reality that not everyone can do that! Not everyone can be rich and famous. It’s hard to do! That you can’t make a living doing what you love unless it happens to be a doctor, or a lawyer or any other respectable profession. They push children into the arts, because its “good” it “helps develop they’re minds”  but then they tear that dream away but telling musicians they can’t make a living except as a teacher where the cycle just begins again. Or actors or painters that they’re not good enough, or you have to live in a certain city, and leave your life behind, an sacrifice your integrity.

My life goal was torn apart when I left York, and I don’t know where I am. I’m selfish and I want all those things. Even if I just pick one off of that list, it seems imposible. I want to direct films, I do. But that in itself is a monsterous goal, even if you ignore everything else, it seems impossible. It seems too big, and honestly too scary. Its hard for me to remember that I’m young. I see young famous people and I am ridiculously, almost unbearably jealous, for the opportunities they have.

O and all this can only happen, if I don’t get shot or killed, or hit by a bus, or in a car accident or meet a bizarre freak death involving a shoelace, a bathroom and a can of hairspray.

(I give you permission to laugh at that last sentence).

This is what I mean! Sometimes I wish I just had the simple worries of food, shelter, sex, friends, and fun. Instead or trying to contemplate the meanings of death, life, art, purpose and society.

Ughh long ramblings. I know this was a dun-dun-dun LiveJournal-esque entry but fuck off lol! I’m goofy and I know it, and once in a while (kay more then once in a while, you got me:P)I’m allowed to rant and feel lost.

So in the words of OK Go:

Get Get Get Get Over it!!

Ps. don’t be afraid to comment on the ridiculousness of this post even though it seems oh so melodramatic. I want people to laugh and enjoy it. At least some of it:P

phew…no one yet…lol:p.

I’m certainly a fan of the large U.S. cities you know,Chicago, New York , L.A, even tourist traps like Orlando, but this “Middle America” as they call it is awful. I’m currently resting my head at a Holiday Inn in Charleston West Virginia. Some of the sites I’ve seen today are just awful, the slums of Michigan and Ohio, the various variety stores “proudly” proclaiming that they “ACCEPT FOOD STAMPS HERE!”…..Even the quaint town of Charleston is deserted like a ghost town, or a post-infection 28 days later scene.

I never thought as the U.S. quite living up to its steroetypes and cliches but it really, really does. Everyone says Ya’ll, there’s 14 year olds pushing their babies around in strollers in the mall, and the food is extra salty, extra fatty and extra large.

It seemed extra depressing today I think because of the bleak and rainy weather, but I honestly can’t wait to get to a tourist filled, everyone smiling beach town.

On a side note, I’m sitting in the hotel watching Will Ferrell perform a George W. Bush impersonation comedy night thing, and it makes it so much sweeter to be watching it here amongst the idiot Americans who voted for him.

No, not all the people are bad, some are nice, but everyone just seems generally worn down, maybe because of all the stores proclaiming “buy out” and “recession” pricing.

That said, I will not be taking any road trips through the United States any time soon. If I want to go, I will fly into the big city, and not venture outside of it. If I can make the trip in one driving day, great. If not its the plane for me.

I really hope the way back is shorter because today seemed to take forrrreevvvvveeerrr.

PS. Ohio has a Tim Horton’s and it was EMPTY! and I mean not a person in sight….it was weird….and guaranteed not one single employee knows who Tim Horton was. And they have roll up the rim! The fact that this made me a little happy means I miss Canada wayy to much.

Academy Awards = A nice change, I actually think Hugh Jackman added some life to the cermeonies, that the general public has been missing these last few years. I deffinatly think the Emmy’s will be shinning on them this coming season. I felt a horrible pang this morning when I was browsing tribute and realized the academy awards were over, like the olympics or sweeps weeks, they provide a nice distraction from the day-to-day. They also made me realize I have seen waaay to many movies.

I went to citylights today as well as the library, and really that at heart I am a very big book nerd. It comforts me wandering through the vast library shelves with so many books unread, almost makes me feel very young….yes nerd, thats official. I am also tremendously bored this evening with no good shows, and too tired for movies, and to bored to sleep. Its my day off for crying out loud. We should be partying up in the streets and drinking until blood runs out our ears?lol… o ya its a tuesday.

So I’m tossing around the idea of something and I would like everyone’s opinion.

I think for next year to get back and fourth from school, (in the warmer months) and to help the environment and look uber cute at the same time that I should something rather resembling…..

A Vespa!

I’m not originally a huge fan of driving these outside of Europe, but I can imagine myself kind of like the first girl at the top, puttering around the uwo campus going to class on one of these. I think I would look without being too bold..kind of cute?

I actually want a motorcycle but I’m pretty sure my parents are veerrrrry against that idea, just because they go on the highway and are wayyy faster:P so I’ll spring the idea of a scooter (which my dad once suggested me get while making cutsy “that would be soooo cute” noises) and work my way up to a motorcycle:P

Hey I’m saving the environment right?

lol

Thoughts?

This blog also might bring up the very much “bitch” side of my given name, and any reference to people or persons is compeltely non-fictional-as yes I am talking about you. YES YOU.

So Adam got a gym membership about a month or two ago (downtown goodlife), and as well as going way more often then me, has also been bugging me to do the classes. I happen to like bodyflow, so I said yes and we picked a date. Without knowing that a certain S Lammers, A Kettle-Veksjdnkbegkjbv, and occasionally M Nanni, often attend the very same class. We went on our first thursday class, only to set up our mats, get all settled and Adam says to me “Hey, isn’t that the girl I took a cab home with once?” Sure enough I turn around and see our very own S.L right behind me. We had a very good class, and after a nice discussion in the change room.

During that discussion I found out that normally in attendance is an A.K-V. who was away for one reason or another. Adam and I liked the class, so decided to go another week. This is when…well: I walked into the change room to discover M.N, and A. K-V, adressing me with a “What are you doing here??” Like it was so out of place, for me to be seen at a gym, the very same gym I might add where we all took fitness less then a year ago… Turns out that they were attending body flow as well. (S.Lammers was apparently working:() When I revealed the previous week to S.L, that I was with Adam doing bodyflow, Steph let out a “O ya? I tried to talk Tim into going to bodyflow forever ago but he wouldn’t, thats great that he is:)”. Something like that anyways, but when I told this to M.N, and A.K-V, they laughed as if his masculinity was in question, or it was an odd thing for a “man” to be doing. I simply shrugged it off knowing they wish they had a man that would go to bodyflow with them. Hmph. Adam was a little late getting to the class so when he arrived we were all waiting outside the doors to go in. Upon his arrival, M.N, looked Adam up and down and rudely laughed out loud at his appearence! I will have you know that this was a pure look of jealousy as I am proud to say that Adam (who is a runner) was wearing a nicely colour coordinated Nike outfit conssisting of an Underarmour like material, and  tight black shorts (which only subtly and the right amount of showed off his…well..erm.man.ness..;)), and very expensive shoes. I must say with my all black similar material outfit we looked quite good together. Never the less, M.N, (who along with her companion were both wearing outfits that can only be described as half garage tops, and half pajamas) still laughed at him,and my subtle anger was a little less subtle. Then in a display only fit of A.K-V, she starts I don’t know warming up? Without warning she drops down into a pose that looked a little somthing like this in the middle of a crowed waiting area:

My subtle anger quickly turns to embarrassment, as I turn myself and Adam as far way from this humiliating public display as humanly possible. He whispers in my ear “what the hell was she doing?” and I respond by shaking my head and saying “I have nooo idea”.

Class ends, and in the dressing room I was asking them what they thought of the new bodyflow  routine, and saying that I’d only done the new one and asking them how the old one was, and M.N, responds the new one is harder, while A.K-V, jumps in saying I thought the new one was way easier, but I’m amazing at all the leg tracks (or some other boastful comment). At this point they head to the showers and my eyes roll, man, I didn’t even have anything else to say, except for; I’m showering at home.

The funny thing about Adam is that he’s completely gay in every way (we’ve talked and laughed about this many times) except for in the womb one little part got messed up (the part where he likes men) so I will take my artist,runner, fashionable, sensitive, loves to cook, rough and wonderfully tattooed straight boyfriend, who likes to take me to fancy restaurants just because (Garlics tonight soo excited:)!) over your “boyfriend” in England…any day.

love love love;)

Your Celebrity Love Matches Are:
Emma:

Your Celebrity Match is: Dave Matthews

Dave Matthews Born: January 9, 1967 Dave Matthews is the leader of the “Dave Matthews Band.” In 2001 they released a new album, “Everday” which went straight to number one on the billboard charts. The Dave Matthews Band also won a VH1 video music award for Best Live Performance in 2000. Your next closest matches were: Sean Penn Brett Favre Kevin Spacey

Tina:

Your Celebrity Match is: Edward Furlong

Edward Furlong Born: August 2, 1977 Actor Edward Furlong is famous for his roles in Terminator 2, American History X, and Detroit Rock City. Your next closest matches were: Harrison Ford Tommy Lee Jones Tiger Woods

Lmao guaranteed Tina has nooo idea who this is baha.

Lucas:

Your Celebrity Match is: Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise Born: July 3, 1962 Actor Tom Cruise is famous for his roles in Days of Thunder, Top Gun, Cocktail, Mission Impossible, and Jerry Mcguire. He recently split with his wife Nicole Kidman. Your next closest matches were: Kevin Spacey Mel Gibson Bruce Springsteen

lol Lucas is winning so far I would say.
Adam:

Your Celebrity Match is: Mia Hamm

Mia Hamm According to our test, you would be a perfect match for Mia Hamm. Born: March 17, 1972 Dominates the Soccer Field. Helped motivate women’s soccer around the United States by winning gold at the 1996 Atlanta games. Your next closest matches were: Sheryl Swoopes Ashley Judd Nicole Kidman

lol man this quiz is old, I’ve never even heard of this person.

Monica:

Your Celebrity Match is: Brett Favre

Brett Favre Born: October 10, 1969 Brett Favre has been the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers since 1992. He has led them to two Super Bowls, including one Super Bowl victory. He also had a small part in the movie “There’s Something About Mary.” Your next closest matches were: Ben Affleck Michael Jordan Nicholas Cage

Stephanie L: Your Celebrity Match is: Tiger Woods Tiger Woods Born: December 30, 1975 Tiger Woods is one of today’s most successful professional golfers. He has won countless tournaments, including the US Open and Masters. Your next closest matches were: Tom Hanks Al Pacino Brett Favre Lol it was actually pretty fun doing this quiz and trying to think like each of you there were some really bizarre personal questions lol, sorry if I didn’t do one on you but it got a little tedious. If you would like to do your own or for another friend go to http://www.jokesandhumor.com/tests/celebrity-love-match/ and feel free to post it here;)

These 3 are for Emma:):

And these 2 are for Tina:):

Does anyone else remember these lol or did I just watch way to much TV as a kid?

Ps. Feel free to post any I’ve forgotten:)

The reason for the visit you ask? To see Streetlight Manifesto, I band I like, but would not have planned a trip to go see. This job was left to my ever concert going boyfriend, who is taking me back in 2 weeks time to the same venue (Sound Academy) to see Flogging Molly, (My largely Irish brain jumps for joy at the mere thought of this).

Now, I consider myself a very tried and tested concert going veteran, but I have never seen such a disorganized, mess of a show, put on by promoters who must have been guzzling gasoline to come up with such an appalling band line up. Backed by the worst venue staff, and topped off with people who learned how to behave at a concert from they’re glue sniffing, “Taste of Chaos” loving, swastika wearing, older cousin named Biff.

First of all you don’t take 3 polar opposite bands, and stick them on the same bill. Why? Because you end up with 3 people who look like this:

+ Me………things are not going to end well, especially for me and Mr. Argyle.

The moshing, the dancing, the drinking and the fighting are all done very differently by these 3 handy stereotypes.

Yes, I clearly made it out alive, but barely.

I was trampled, shoved, punched, elbowed, spit on, sweat on, stepped on, and in general not in good physical shape.

This show was only salvaged by the fact that once I crawled my way off the main floor, Streetlight actually sounded quite good. While not as close as I was, I was still right near the band and able to listen to the music, which surprisingly sounded very good for that large venue.

Worse then the death pit at the show though, was the mayhem that ensued after the show, while some 700 people tried to attack coat check at the same time. It took over an hour to get my coat and leave the damn place, reeking and drenched in other peoples sweat… lets just say it ended on a sour note.

Learn from my Mistakes: If and when you decide to attend a show at the Sound Academy, leave your coats and bags at home to avoid coat check, make your way to the back of the crowd during the last song, or wait out the crowd before trying to get to the doors, and finally WEAR PROPER FOOTWEAR!:

This:

VS This: